I worked out the other day that my partner and I hardly ever have proper conversations anymore.  Between full-time jobs, keeping fit and relaxing in front of the TV, we probably have about half an hour of meaningful conversation in a week.  By this I mean really listening and talking and not merely saying by rote "how was your day?", "did you put the recycling out" or "what programme shall we watch?"

The other night, he came home from a double spin class [double, I ask you!?] and the first thing he said to me was "the mayonnaise shouldn't be put in the fridge door" and the second was "did you buy ricecakes"?  We ended up having a heated argument, which culminated in me shouting "there's more to life than mayonnaise and I don't give a monkeys where the ****ing mayonnaise lives in the fridge".

Suffice to say last night we ate a candlelit dinner at the table,  and had some quality conversation.  We're going to try and do this at least once a week from now on.

With our new regime in place I was tickled to see this article in the New York times which says:

"substantive conversation seems to hold the key to happiness for two main reasons: both because human beings are driven to find and create meaning in their lives, and because we are social animals who want and need to connect with other people.

“By engaging in meaningful conversations, we manage to impose meaning on an otherwise pretty chaotic world,” Dr. Mehl said. “And interpersonally, as you find this meaning, you bond with your interactive partner, and we know that interpersonal connection and integration is a core fundamental foundation of happiness.”

Photo courtesy of Flickr.com - creative commons - Rishi Menon

I found this really good article in the New York Times online which makes the link between exercise-shy people sticking to some sort of "moving" routine if there are ancillary benefits to be found, such as making new friends, socialising and broadening their horizons.

Extract from the article:

"“My research suggests that we have misbranded health behaviors such as exercise,  The ‘health’ and ‘weight-loss’ brand of exercise doesn’t create desire in people to exercise on a daily basis. It makes the behaviors feel like a chore and a ‘should,’ which undercuts our desire to do them.”


Dr. Segar likened this approach to telling young children, “Eat your vegetables; they’re good for you,” which almost never accomplishes the desired goal. “We’ve based our promotion of exercise on a medical and logical model,” she said. “And people don’t necessarily behave in a logical manner.

“We’ve made exercise feel like a chore to most people, not like a gift we give ourselves.”

Full article here  [link to associated article "Even More Reasons To Get A Move On" here]

The article draws on the experiences of retirees but I can talk from personal experience that even younger folk can gain ancillary benefits from an exercise regime. 

When I first started training for the London Marathon 5 years ago I put up an ad on Runners World online looking for a training buddy.  A Women's Running Network trainer got in touch and we agreed to meet up for a run around Canary Wharf.  She then invited me back to hers for a coffee and I went onto join the network.  We trained and ran the London Marathon together and I couldn't have done it without her.  Even though I've moved out the area she's still one of my closest friends.

I met another good friend when I walked up to a stranger at a half-marathon and asked if she could keep an eye on my bag for me.  Turned out we ran at the same pace and we ran the half-marathon together.  Seven years later and we're still in touch. 

Over the years I've come into contact with lots of people, from all walks of life that I would never have otherwise encountered.  I can truly say that running has enriched my life way more than just making me fitter.